We’ve all witnessed this on television shows or movies – you walk into a therapy office to see a stuffy, lifeless therapist who repeats “tell me how you feel about that” while they seemingly stare into the void. Who wouldn’t be scared to attend their first session?!.
I am often taken back to my own time in therapy. I had a wonderful therapist who was empathic but direct, who gave me the courage and strength to approach life situations in a more effective way. But before I found this therapist, I worked with a therapist who was not a good therapeutic match for me and it was important to acknowledge that. Every therapist is different and the first thing to expect from therapy is that it might take you a little to find the right fit. Try not to give up if the first person you see doesn’t feel right, most psychologists give a free consultation which should give you some insight on what to expect in the actual intake session. In many cultures, therapy is very taboo and it is important to share that with your therapist in order to give you the space to feel comfortable opening up. Feel free to ask questions and if it is your first time in therapy let the psychologist know you are a little uncomfortable with the prospect of bearing your soul to someone you just met!
There is also an expectation that there must be something “wrong” with someone in order to be seen and that is inaccurate. There are a variety of levels of care that exist and therapists who provide care on an outpatient basis offer different approaches and work with all different types of reasons someone would want to come to treatment. Many therapists are general practitioners, and just like you, want to ensure that they can best suit your needs based on their areas of focus.
You should also know that while it is true that people come and discuss what is going on in their lives, therapy is much more involved than venting. Sure, there is time to discuss the most intricate details of what you ate for breakfast or other lighter topics, the act of being in therapy is much more complex. By taking part in therapy you can expect that your therapist will provide support, teach you skills, help you develop new coping strategies and build on strengths you already have. Whether this is your first time in therapy or your fifth, it will always be slightly different depending on your goals. It is easy to underestimate the amount of work actual change involves. Therapy can feel emotionally draining at times, but just like when you exercise physically there is some level of soreness in growth. Therapy is a team effort between you and your therapist. As therapists, we will put in the work, but cannot work harder than you. Long-term results take time, so be patient with yourself and trust the process. Taking the step to get into therapy is a big one, so if you are even thinking about doing it, do it. Working out Within is one of the best investments that you can make for yourself, and you are worth it.
By Dr. Dean